Is Stephen Colbert the 5th Beatle? Find out.
more about "Better Know a Beatle – Paul McCartney…", posted with vodpod
Archive for the 'Humor' Category
30
Jan
09
friday funny: the 5th beatle
26
Dec
08
friday funny: analog to digital
A brief instructional video on converting your television from analog to digital.
more about "Hulu – Talkshow with Spike Feresten: …", posted with vodpod
Obama’s Use of Complete Sentences Stirs Controversy
Stunning Break with Last Eight Years
In the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.
Millions of Americans who watched Mr. Obama’s appearance on CBS’ “Sixty Minutes” on Sunday witnessed the president-elect’s unorthodox verbal tick, which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.
But Mr. Obama’s decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.
According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it “alienating” to have a President who speaks English as if it were his first language.
“Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement,” says Mr. Logsdon. “If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist.”
The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, “Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate – we get it, stop showing off.”
The President-elect’s stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska.
“Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can’t really do there, I think needing to do that isn’t tapping into what Americans are needing also,” she said.
Fictitious article about American liberals moving to Canada before the election out of fear of another 4 years of the neocons and religious right. Funny, but at the same time, a little too close to home. Thanks Linda.
From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.
The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O’Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. ‘I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,’ said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota . ‘The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.’
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. ‘Not real effective,’ he said. ‘The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn’t give milk.’
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. ‘A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,’ an Ontario border patrolman said. ‘I found one carload without a drop of drinking water.’ They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though.’
When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the Rapture.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the ’50s. ‘If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age,’ an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. ‘I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,’ an Ottawa resident said. ‘How many art history and English majors does one country need?’
Watch this clip all the way through. Not only does it have the ridiculous non-answer from Palin about what newspapers and magazines she reads, but there’s also a little surprise at the end. Thanks Jen.
17
Oct
08
friday funny: palin as president
Want to know what Sarah Palin would be like as president? Check out the Palin As President website. Just scroll around and click on various objects (requires audio).
Note: I’m really trying not to post so much about Palin since there are more critical issues with the McCain-Palin ticket that need to be addressed (e.g. their lying and fear mongering) but she makes it so easy.
13
Oct
08
ode to sean hannity
John Cleese wrote this short poem about one of the worst newscasters around, Sean Hannity from Fixed News.
Aping urbanity
Oozing with vanity
Plump as a manatee
Faking humanity
Journalistic calamity
Intellectual inanity
Fox Noise insanity
You’re a profanity
Hannity
Or are they just sleazy, deceitful, hypocritical pricks. Hmmm, which one is more likely?
Jon Stewart mocks how O’Reilly’s opinion on teen pregnancy ‘gestated over a period of months.’
Last night on the Daily Show, host Jon Stewart skewered Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly for claiming Bristol Palin’s pregnancy is “a personal matter,” when last year he pointed the finger of blame at Jamie-Lynn Spears’ parents — “who obviously have little control over her” — and called Spears an “incredible pinhead” when she revealed she was expecting. Stewart joked, “You see what happens with opinions over teen pregnancy is that they gestate over a period of months.” Watch it:
Stewart also pointed out Karl Rove’s radical inconsistency when he mocked Gov. Tim Kaine (D-VA) for being mayor of Richmond: “It’s not a big town.” Rove has since praised Palin’s executive experience as Mayor of Wasilla, population 9,700.
Congresswoman Bachmann graces oy vey with more words of wisdom (see previous post, the american dream-working two jobs?). She thinks environmentalists are wasting their time and energy trying to save the planet from environmental disaster because JC already did that 2,000 years ago. Huh?
GOP Rep. To Environmentalists: Jesus Already Saved The Planet
By Eric Kleefeld – August 12, 2008, 2:00PM
We like to keep track of the, er, intriguing sayings of Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, the Christian Right champion from Minnesota. But this latest is really out there — Bachmann says we don’t need pesky environmentalists like Nancy Pelosi around, because Jesus already saved the planet!
“[Pelosi] is committed to her global warming fanaticism to the point where she has said that she’s just trying to save the planet,” Bachmann told the right-wing news site OneNewsNow. “We all know that someone did that over 2,000 years ago, they saved the planet — we didn’t need Nancy Pelosi to do that.”
Wow.
Other recent Bachmannisms include the claim that there isn’t actually any wildlife in the areas of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge where she wants more drilling, and the allegation that Democrats want high gas prices so as to force people to move into “inner cities” and “the urban core.”
01
Aug
08
friday funny: craig
Craig, performed by Stephen Lynch.
